If Only I Had Waited To Date.

The sunlight streams through my blinds alerting me that it’s time to arise and start a new day, but I lay in bed a while longer letting last nights thoughts plague my mind.  I don’t sleep like I use to, because there are too many things I allow to ruin my days. From being rejected by the woman I love every year I try to win her back, to fighting a battle for my mind. Every day is a mystery to me I never know which way my emotions will go, will I engage in social activity or revert to my lone wolf status? My feelings over the years have become so much darker when they once were bright and outgoing, now I dwell deep in my soul setting fire to the memories that use to make me feel so enthusiastic and full of joy. All that ended with one failed relationship started too early.


The expression, “young and dumb” really hits home because when you’re young you tend to think you know everything. You imagine just because you’ve listened to songs about it or older people have told you about it, that you’re ready to traverse that territory. You are so ill prepared for the journey that you fail to pause and check your mind for the proper experience and knowledge. And this is the part where being dumb comes into play. Being 13 years old I was so stupid and immature, that looking back now all I can do is shake my head in dismay. I lost a really good woman because I wasn’t ready to handle the responsibilities of a relationship.

Now I force myself to stay in her life even when she doesn’t love me the way I learned to love her, knowing I’m nothing special to her heart anymore. I am fully aware that she denies her feelings for me because they aren’t important enough to her. I struggle daily to find the will to leave, because in my mind I love her and you don’t leave the one you love behind. But, this pain that festers in my heart will eventually inflicted further damage to my future relationships. Sooner or later I will need to leave and when that day comes I will finally be free.





Ladies lets revive the Gentlemen.

There was something that needed to be said, words that could bring life to the dead. Words others had not the skill to accurately articulate.

So a man nobody really knew stepped to the mic and began to say,

“Pretty woman who men use and other women tease, it is not your job to seek to be loved for what others deem desirable. Those freckles add extra grace to your beauty and makes others remember your name. There is no reason for you to hide your face under layers of makeup when a ‘gentle’ man is near, he will see you no matter what you wear. Real men don’t look for the sexiest body or prettiest face, we look for the one who has the most confidence in the crowd, the women other men pass over because her butt isn’t as big as the woman standing next to her. 

You are not amusement for my satisfaction nor are you a decoration that fits perfectly on my arm. You are the foundation that I’ve built my kingdom upon, the  Bonnie to my Clyde, the best reason to be faithful, loyal and honest. You see, your heart is a treasure rarely found and every King values his Queen.”